Now what? Now what? Now what? That seems to be all I can say to myself right now as I continue to commit to myself that I am a writer. . . Okay. . . So now what?
Well, I don’t know. I want to commit to loging in and writing something, anything down every day. I commit to not judge myself as I go through this process.
I want to sift through the stories that are me and for the first time ever put them out in plain view. Even if no one ever sees it, I have to get these truths of me out of my head. They eat away at me like a cancer until I am barely recocnizable to myself. Not acknowledging them and running from them prove just as deadly to my happiness and true sense of self.
So, I commit. I commit to take on writing ALONG with the other endeavors I am involved in. See thats another trick I like to use. I was raised by victims, get to that another time, but in being raised by them you learn quickly how to pick up what will block you. Stop that dream dead in its tracks. And when it comes to writing, I have quite a few.
The big ones are:
*I will have to be straight to be taken seriously.
*I will have to be strictly secluded and a drunk or crazy.
*I will have to quit my other creative dreams and soly focus on writing if I want to be good, You know that whole one or the other thing.
*I will not be able to fully give myself emotionally to my child or a love because I will be consumed with creating(I use this one with my other creative outlets as well)
And at times I want to be,consumed by my art that is. But I am learning that I am actually a well rounded person and my whole life I have been seeking out balance. I yearn for it actually and I am learning to embrace this part of me and let the “Rocking Rebellion” misconception leave me. It does me no good. My aspirations are so much thicker than that. More rounded and include a lot of laughter damn it!
So , whats next?. . . Laughter and writing of course. 🙂