Accepting Lonely

The heart broken is still a heart.

The heart broken is still a heart.

Tonight I feel

lonely

tired

and

full of fear

fear of the what if’s

and

the how comes.

I have to take my mind

to free myself

by accepting that tonight

I feel lonely.

Nothing more

and

nothing less

I cuddle lonely

not to change

it

but to simply

see

and

accept.

Mundane run-on

The mind goes…

It reminds me of the screen

I take to falling apart quite gracefully if you would just get the fuck out of my way

who said I had to be whole for you

anyways

who said I needed to be measurements not given by

me

well fuck me and then take my thighs wet

to memories and I will touch upon it now and then

again

but most times i will regret

I will regret

I will regret

not leaving sooner…

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Keep Up

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Grumble

grumble

the mind

it wanders the streets of dynamite

alone.

Setting off fire works of construction

bubbling

up to the conscious that consumes

phone screens of instant memorabilia.

We wait

for nothing

faster than the speed of light sound barriers are turtled in history

we move

faster than we can keep up with

the blur of wasted Saturday afternoons on the porch creates

a canvas of smeared green and sunset

to feel must be but a second or

self destruction commences in the form of self medication.

I write.

In the form of self medication, I write.

Enthusiasm

I can write when happy too you know

I can feel the words drip from my lips to the

finger tips of my enthusiasm

It comes in waves like all

other things and I hold on tight

to the me I see in lost future.

Her head held high through all she was

that I am now.

She knows the value of this lesson already

She waits for me to get it

she waits for me

to accept happy and I tell her…

I can be happy too you know

Let it in me, be me, around me, I can

write it in the sand from the thoughts that drip from my lips to the

finger tips of my enthusiasm.

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Smoother than me

ooo your so much cooler than me

older than dirt and schooled more than me

oh baby you sure do look hotter than me

can hold up that top a lot higher than me

mmmm honey you sure are taller than me

take in your doubt and hold on longer than me

oh dear you sure are smoother than me

only speak how the nights dark is brighter than me

but ooooo love you sure ain’t wiser than me

for all the dark hot grit

ain’tgonna get you shit

for you’ll still end up 6 feet in the dirt

lookin ugly as sin

won’t matter what you win

cuz you gonna die like alls worth

just

like

me

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Masculine

Who will listen

back and forth

the brain

take another

takes another

sip

and I am again tired

who would you take me as

who do you love me as

I lust no one but a place

a hoping

a wonderment of am I good enough and will you please

fuck me I need the self worth.

what else is new to the brain drained by the neon taint

of sidewalks glazed in pink signs of wet pussy and tits that meet your eyelids

take me to the heaven that says I am the man inside I feel they are.