I wonder to the wonder of your skin
sun touched and pink
beneath my fingertips
Roused by a memory of memories
reaching heights of loves sweet
play on soul
Thump
I wonder to the wonder of your skin
sun touched and pink
beneath my fingertips
Roused by a memory of memories
reaching heights of loves sweet
play on soul
Thump
You think of me again
yes?
You wonder if the reality was warm
Yes?
And it was but
God
it is so much richer now
in distance
Let us be lovers of words and watch each other
grow.
You are whispered on my lips
and
hips
as well.
Thank you far off lover.
lets write and sing drastic songs sent from afar
but close.
Where are the whispers that used to fill the inside of veins, “you want more”.
Give me lessssssssssss ons.
Give me lessons?
Give me freedoms.
Give me sleep.
Give me guiltless memories.
Give me kind interactions and a pillow of done enough.
Give me…nothing…no worth.
No.
No lessons.
No grace.
Give me jokes in face.
Your moms face.
Your moms face burnt with fire the bombs left her.
Left her an eye to give back to the soldier that saved her life…but he took that eye.
Lesson learned.
Why aren’t we laughing?
I dance with the molecules surrounding me.
As vibrations from the speakers toss my insides
into a tingle.
I take it with ease until she enters…
I take it up a notch to the surface of reality
that must exist for lovers to not itch
like squirrels.
I take myself out of the lush grass
to the land of tight muscles,
tight jaws creaking into the night.
So tight
I loose my form.
I take on the shape of another and I ask why.
Why?
Why, when it was me the whole time?
The one with the power
to change at the drop of a hat.
To find another
hat to wear.
Take myself for granted no longer.
Lets dance.
You and I.
You are me,
I take you in my arms,
ultimate lover.
The one who has sold me on the story.
The one that has sold me on the relating of nothing
to everyone who relates to nothing.
Why did the stars form we know not.
It matters not.
Knowing the answer can do nothing but free the soul from questioning.
Yet questioning is what we hunger for.
It is the ultimate desire.
We crave
not knowing.
It is why we are empty when we figure
or believe we have figured
something out.
We need the unknown in order to feel alive.
In order to not die with addiction.
Addiction forming when the brain is bored in knowing.
The surrounding humans unable to handle
such awesomeness that can escape from one dream.
Unable to handle it enough to
dream for themselves.
Let it let it let it be.
Say it
one
two
three
times in repetitive forms of what but of course,
nothing.
Everything is nothing and nothing is in all things.
All created equal.
For all things are made out of the nothing of everything. . . I soak.
Dance with me,
me.
Remember
remember the Poet,
loosed lipped and easy at the hip
her taste buds are still forming
her mind still wondering if the goose bump will drench your skin
the skin you love.
Her give
your
tug.
Remember the timing of what was right
right before the fight came storming.
the stars missing the gaze of
your eyes watching out as they passed her by.
Remember the HEY that the horse ate
and the tan lines of laugh lines
now torn tears from good bye.
hold tight and ache why, ask why, be why
Remember why not…
Remember the wander of the wonder
how words came about from ink of swivel
now the flick of the tip just the tip tip tip
of hand
that caries meanings she herself
would never dare to dream of knowing she dreamed of.
Remember that day when the sun lifted the spirit
and your dress while you danced.
the poet birthing
herself
and dancing
to the gods created before the gods,
created after, and the ones no longer needed…
Talking to you is like talking to air…I wonder if the clutter it takes for me to ache ever reaches your ear.
Do you hear?
Do you hear?
Talking to you is paper bag brown and vulgar.
Lusting exits, slumber begins…the death of bed.
Talking with me is no better.
If the words fall sour and the tumbler sticks due to lack of lubricated intimacy, click tracked to conversation of space and time, the sound of foot prints fading, I must hear…clank, clunk.
Ravage me damn it!
Take it in and give it back out in the shout of your quiver.
Talking to you could be nothing, or everything. If I would stop to listen.
If you would drop in to listen.
If you would
Talk
to
You
More.
Crisp moon at my feet, reflect to me my truest nature.
Lie to me not, for you know no such thing as ego.
Tell me, let go.
“Let go.”
Tell me…
Arriving at the green blades edge, my spine straightened by the freeze of the mountain water.
I fall into cold.
.
.
fall into feeling…
Memories once shoved into the cozy corner of the forgotten, are now jolted from their slumber.
Rushing the front of my brain like daggers shot from a booby-trapped tomb. Piercing the core of my denial.
Moods flooding, the murky reflections of meant to be.
The smell cringing in bubbles exiting my mouth.
Let me feel the burn of it.
Let me drift to the bottom, toes touching upon mud
Allow the fish to eat my eyes first.
No longer needing to see.
The pain they have witnessed, not just of myself, is enough to ache for the tinge of the first nibble.
The decomposing of me.
Hold death, let me feel the weight of water filled lungs, mouth gaping, deceived by the assumption of oxygen’s availability to me at all times.
Let me feel the disappointment.
Let the childhood stories, beginning with sledding and ending in crumpled panties and lost innocence, tag along with my last scream.
Allow me the release of knowing I am food.
Not driven with purpose yet fulfilling THE purpose…to feed what I have eaten.
No permission needed,
All are welcome to the piece.
I write to you in my sleep.
Diamond sky, stardust lining ALL skins.
The waters touch quenching ANY thirst here or after.
The desert crumbling beneath toes dipped in valley.
You are there.
Visioned.
Seen.
Falling from risen.
True in being nothing.
Giving everything a meaningless meaning of seeing.
The dreams, like clouds, we dance upon their vapor.
Whispered flaws yelled from clasped claws…
Sleepily you write to me also…
“You need to remember you are strong. You’re unstoppable when your strong.”
She tells me this while she sits in her own soft sadness.
We are the same. Craving love and attention, we have starved for long enough.
The nuclear family was not the support beams they were cracked up to be.
In fact the cracks were huge and she slipped through them.
Thats how we found each other.
I still have not healed fully from the chaos that was the co-dependacy and I feel her want to pull me back in and yet at the same time it is the safeness I have yearned for.
The home of, “All things are possible.”
Don’t tell me I need you…
No answers are needed…
Only tell me I am doing it already.
I am able and strong.
I am great at doing this for others…now me…
They are nothing with me and everything with themselves.
I need this as well.
Turn to the ones living the dream.
She has to remember.
I have to remember.
This time…I am here for her.
Who will tell me?
No One. I have to tell myself.
I tell myself I am strong enough, thank you for the idea.
You, strong enough too.
Strong enough to let the world into the private warmth and chaos that is me.
Comfort while icily looking forward.
Crave the intensity of love and not the ambition.
Dance soul.
Get the hell up and dance.
Bear the soul that is deep as the ocean, the world is watching and in need.
All you envision is all that was given to you by the Universe, for the benefit of the Universe.
Sanity feeling like insanity.
Enlightenment feeling like darkness.
The tingle begins. It begins with in her grasping. . . HER.
You are the super human you have been envisioning.
Intense is the leader, hold your hand and let you guide you.
The soul is within not out, so again. . . Dance. hands high, voice just as big.
Take it all on, it was all meant for you…
Happiness is what I speak of damn it!
Enlightened with music, art, sight and sound. Take all on and be all.
For all is nothing. And nothing is simple right?
No choice. It was what she was born to do.
Me?
I am just fine. No aches at all thank you… good day.
I am ill today.
In more ways than one.
Heavy insides ready to burst forth with my blood sacrifice for this month. The pains are thick, so is the emotion.
Also,
my brain works differently than some and I know this.
I have always known this.
I have been told by doctors all through out my life that the polar oposites of me can make life and love unbearable. Pills forced down my throat at a young tender age.
Forced down by wishful thinking of cures.
Cures for my brain.
The way it thinks.
The way it feels.
The way it acts out. . .
but I feel. . .
I feel like my brain is wonderful and lush with swirls of creation and thought I love to delve into. The only problems I see with my brain are the labels and pills that were beaten into me that now I swim through to find my genuine thought.
The last few days have been heavy with emotion and reflection. So today I rest and let the pains and tears lull me to sleep because…I am ill today… In more ways than one.