Okay I give in.

I need you.

I need you naked and wanting me with all your warm flesh.

I need you. I crave you despite the bourbon. It brings me more fire. I live in dull and have for years. I speak of things I should not but honest I am and always have been give me songs.


Mother of All Depression

I can’t stand these kids don’t they see

My bones marinated in depression, brittle


Beaten by the memories I

can no longer tell them like I used

to when their world was in my womb

safe in darkness only then

did I love them before they needed

me, and pulled at my limbs in the ownership

only then did I picture chains in

their little hands tugging at metal attached

to my limbs dislocating, tearing

pieces off I cant take another beating I need,

air damn it doesn’t anyone see I’m

bleeding on the inside from the

lashes of my own lost childhood I know not

how to give one to the children of my

own making if only they would see my bones




He holds thighs

he tumbles them on his bed in the night

he pulls you closer and wonders if you will 

cum before him

he hopes so…but then he sleeps and wonders the streets flaccid and limp waiting to get his next drink.

he fell asleep right in the middle of the ecstasy.

Not his first or his last.

Not his fault.

But his touch you would welcome again.  Image

Don’t change a thing.




Lucy, her name is Lucy and I wonder. I wonder how deeply do I let her see me?

How deep do I let her hold me into her guts and see that I am beauty.

He says the same thing she said to the others…you are beautiful.

Fall hard with me again

even if it is only for the love of words.

If it is only for the capture of the toes that dip in the grape vines.

Tell me you love me again and let us not change a thing the reality will crush us but for tonight, for ever, be my dream.

Come here again.

Curl in my lap and be the dream again.

Never to touch the tainted reality that is life.



You think of me again


You wonder if the reality was warm


And it was but


it is so much richer now

in distance

Let us be lovers of words and watch each other


You are whispered on my lips



as well.

Thank you far off lover.

lets write and sing drastic songs sent from afar

but close.


Barefoot Down Alleys


God you were good

lover never will skin melt

onto me so whole again

may wish but not near to the heat of your smother

let me take the memory of the love

your heat left cold soon as the melding

was done leaving my bones to brittle

and break allowing me barely enough strength to latch

the door but sit outside I would

your light not on leaving me


when on I knew

I would tangle with you soon

unless another rope you had to float with

and high so still I wandered barefoot down alleys passing back and forth past your fortress

tonight I melt in the sweetness of your distance

the safety of memories

Spine down

I cream the face the love of the face the eyes you wonder and the mind gives me no other reason why so I take it to mean something of nothing nothing but the making love of words the mind truly getting off without the paranoia of the others brain to intervene on it’s abuses to be alone with the magic of word is my memory’s love I take it in and I milk it thru my brain down to the center of my spine down to the tip that is me. I again cream on face.

I am woman.


Thank You Disaster


I look at him

eyes are heavy

his eyes are light

I remember fixing him and the way he alcoholically

pissed on the bed I also remember

how hard he held me pressed in groaning the floor I melted

I remember how colors never seemed the same I thank him

for his deep blue

a bit spicy beyond the concerns of others

but my tingles thank you

My memories that quicken the heart

thank you

thank you

disaster for coming and staying not long

You look Red


So maybe I will write with my right

with the white light balances

of the blood red of berry she

thinks of things to tinkle into works and

I love to write you just

cant, cant know if I am loving you

or hating you

Iook for our simple existence. . I am leaning for more.

Do you ever feel in your bones that you are meant for


you can’t help it you really just can’t …you won’t…

you can’t.